a) Travel the world to find out who you really are.
b) Travel the world to find out what you really need.
c) Travel the world to find out what you want.
d) Travel the world to see who you really need.
e) Travel the world to find out who really needs you.
Bullshit or not?
By taking some time away from your comfortable and well-known surroundings, heading (far) away from home, for (quite) a while, what does really change for you? How does it affect yourself? Your…personality. Are you really ‘finding yourself’ and what does that mean? I believe it is a conclusion of a few thesis’ that I have listed above. You find out about your needs, your true wishes, desires. You find out who stands by you, and you find out what and who you miss and / or what, n fact, you couldn’t care less about.
Can you really find yourself while getting lost in other countries? Or are you probably even running in risk of losing your true self? Changing, but, eventually to something you think you are, but which is just a changed copy of yourself?
When you leave your hometown for a couple of months, what you really do is leaving your past behind. You leave behind the people who really know ‘who’ you are, let’s say, what has happened in your life, what you’ve been doing most of your life, your secrets, your highs, your lows, what makes you happy and what upsets you. Now, you meet new people, and you can show them whatever you want them to see, right? Could you, in a way, become that self you might be creating, even accidentally?
Often people come back home after a while abroad and their friends feel excited before they come back. They fear the change in their beloved ones, they fear that the person is so changed, that they won’t get along as before. Isn’t this crazy?
What really makes us think of this kind of change? And why do we automatically categorize it as ‘growth’, instead of probably considering the person being lost?
I had it myself already, people told how they feel like I am changed, like I had grown, like I have a different glint in my eyes etc. And I just took it, but I never got concerned, as I kept the same friends around and nothing seemed to have changed to much.
But then, I also had people telling myself that I am completely lost. A complete lost soul who doesn’t know where to go, what to do. And it does concern me.
Take this popular proverb: ‘Home is where your heart is.’
Google it and you get tons of results for illustrations.
For years now I am trying to interpret this saying. What does it actually mean? Where your heart is physically, so, practically just where you are is where you’re home? Or, could it be, where your beloved ones are? Like another thing to say, ‘Home is wherever I’m with you’. That feeling that you have when you are with your partner and it feels homy.
What does it mean to you? Home is where your heart is.
I have been trying to figure out answers to all these questions but I can’t. I’ve been away from home now for so long. Every day is different. I have no idea which choices are the right ones. I turn every thought around 1000 times. One day I want to quit drinking, partying, and take care of myself, be healthy. The other day I want to get back to that crazy life. F/\ all. I feel like I am lost. I don’t regret anything at all, and I would never decide not to travel, because of everything else it gave me, knowledge, emotions, scars. But I am not sure if I have found ‘myself’. And I am not sure if I have changed at all.
But blame it on traveling itself?
I would love to hear your opinions :)